This is the real quiz. . .
Ok. Same idea as the first time, but this one will be for something to be determined worth around $100, maybe just cash or vouchers, I dunno. .The person with the highest score by 10 p.m. next Tuesday will win. Email all answers to gandrewp@gmail.com. Good luck. . . .
1. I did a golf clinic when I was 10 at the Bellevue County Club. A bunch of kids played five holes on Saturday morning. I only did it once. What happened the day I did it?
a) I whiffed the tee shot four times in a row on one hole and threw my mother's driver, which accidentally went into a neighboring pond.
b) I got in a fight with a kid who was making fun of my hair.
c) I chipped one in from like 40 yards.
d) I wet my pants because there were no bathrooms on the course, and the instructor told me I couldn't leave the group and would have to wait.
2. Which of the following was not said by one of my friends today?:
a) "Man flying is gonna be horrid now. They should have special flights for people who don't care if they blow up."
b) (While I was looking at a Le Corbusier (famous early twentieth century modernist architect) building in a magazine) "Who is that? Oh, it's that whack-job that poured concrete all over the fuckin' place. . "
c) "Glen, have you seen those three random chicks that work upstairs now?. . .it's like, I'm waiting at the elevator and in walks a gaggle of B/B+ers."
3. Which of the following items have I not purchased in the past month? (one answer)
a) a Schlitz beer tee-shirt
b) a black and white 8" x 10" photo of David Brent dancing. . .
c) a Canon Digital Rebel
d) Season Two of the Office on dvd
e) a Bose ipod Sound Dock
4. I just bought a new camera, as I plan on learning more about photgraphy and taking a lot more pictures. One can get both my old digital camera and a 128 mb compact flash card for around $120 today. How much did I pay at the time?
a) $725
b) $475
c) $600
d) $825
5. Which of the following cds have I not purchased in the past two weeks? I purchased all but four. You can make three guesses and will get a point if you get at least two.
Cat Power - Moon Pix
Built to Spill - Live
Wilco - AM
Beth Orton - Trailer Park
David Bowie - Low
The Pipettes - We are the Pipettes
Nick Drake - Five Leaves Left
Sonic Youth - First album Reissued
The Figurines - Skeleton
Liz Phair - Whip Smart
Scott Walker - Scott 4
The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street
The Palace Brothers - Days in the Wake
The National - Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers
Manitoba - Up in Flames
6. I have been told, at some point in my life, that I ressemble in either an aspect of appearance or personality all the following except:
a) Niel Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser, NPH
b) Kiefer Sutherland
c) Leann Rimes
d) Heath Ledger
e) Kramer
f) Ian Ziering, aka Steve from 90210
7. which of the following books am I not in the process of reading:
a) A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
b) No-limit hold'em: Theory and Practice, David Sklansky and Ed Miller
c) the curious incident of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon
d) A Long Way Down, Nick Hornby
8. On Friday I ordered the new Dell XPS with the 30" monitor. I have heard very bad things about Dell's customer service, but the order went very smoothly. The guy was helpful and we worked it all out - including a multi-day debit plan to deal with my daily maximum debit that Sovereign has set in place. Today I get a call from Dell saying they cancelled the order on the monitor because my bank rejected the request for payment. I called the bank and, of course, they tried to debit an amount over my the limit I told them. I realize I am going to have an annoying time dealing with this already. I explain the plan I had with Rodrigo to break up the payments, and I instantly didn't like him because he said, "Ok, well I don't know what conversation might have taken place, but here's what I can do." Then he explained my order was cancelled when the bank turned down payment, and since the order was placed on the 4th, the promotion had now ended, so the monitor would be an extra $200. But, what he could do was give me a 32" Dell lcd tv that could be used as a monitor for $1999, which, he said, was even better, since I would get extra "special promotions" in the form of warranties, etc. He kept asking me if I knew that a tv could be used as a monitor, and he kept asking me if i knew my previous order was "just" a monitor. He also kept throwing in stupid statements like, "sir, the tv is an lcd, which is a "liquid crystal display," so it can be both a. . blah blah blah." He probably went back to the tv option 8 times in about 10 minutes. I told him to call me back and I would look into it. I went to the website, and I find the 32" lcd tv for $1299. I didn't want it anyways, but now I was just annoyed. He calls back. "So I decided I do not want the tv. I just want everything that was in my original invoice for the quoted price." "Sir, may I ask what are your reasons for not wanting the tv?" "Sure, I have a nice Sony tv already, my computer is in another room, my apartment is small. I just want a monitor to use for my desktop, and if I want to watch tv I go into the other room." "Sir, are you aware that you can use the tv as a monitor and watch tv in addition to using it as a monitor?" "Absolutely, and I just want the monitor I ordered on Friday. Also, the tv is $1300 on your website" "The basic version, sir, without all the special promotions, starts at $1500(not true)" "What are the special promotions?" "Can you hold on a minute while I find out exactly what they are?" "No thanks, I just want the monitor." "Ok, sir. . ." We go through about ten more minutes of technicalities when he says "You realize that your monitor is not covered under the accidental damage warranty?" "Oh, I thought Rodrigo told me it would be. . . " "No, sir, that's why I was trying to explain that lcd tv is covered. . . " At this point I snapped, cut him off mid-sentence, and said which of the following things:
a) "Look, I just don't want the tv! Let's not talk about it anymore, ok?" (agitated voice)
b) DUDE! I DON'T WANT the FUCKING tv! (very agitated voice, almost a yell)
c) "Mention the tv again! Say tv again, I dare you. Say tv one more time!" (very agitated, but in a mockingSamuel L. Jackson Pulp Fiction style tone.)
d) "I. . . DON'T. . . WANT. . . THE. . . LCD. . . TV" (loud and stern voice, which implies agitated)
Part two will be released tomorrow (Friday). . . .
1. I did a golf clinic when I was 10 at the Bellevue County Club. A bunch of kids played five holes on Saturday morning. I only did it once. What happened the day I did it?
a) I whiffed the tee shot four times in a row on one hole and threw my mother's driver, which accidentally went into a neighboring pond.
b) I got in a fight with a kid who was making fun of my hair.
c) I chipped one in from like 40 yards.
d) I wet my pants because there were no bathrooms on the course, and the instructor told me I couldn't leave the group and would have to wait.
2. Which of the following was not said by one of my friends today?:
a) "Man flying is gonna be horrid now. They should have special flights for people who don't care if they blow up."
b) (While I was looking at a Le Corbusier (famous early twentieth century modernist architect) building in a magazine) "Who is that? Oh, it's that whack-job that poured concrete all over the fuckin' place. . "
c) "Glen, have you seen those three random chicks that work upstairs now?. . .it's like, I'm waiting at the elevator and in walks a gaggle of B/B+ers."
3. Which of the following items have I not purchased in the past month? (one answer)
a) a Schlitz beer tee-shirt
b) a black and white 8" x 10" photo of David Brent dancing. . .
c) a Canon Digital Rebel
d) Season Two of the Office on dvd
e) a Bose ipod Sound Dock
4. I just bought a new camera, as I plan on learning more about photgraphy and taking a lot more pictures. One can get both my old digital camera and a 128 mb compact flash card for around $120 today. How much did I pay at the time?
a) $725
b) $475
c) $600
d) $825
5. Which of the following cds have I not purchased in the past two weeks? I purchased all but four. You can make three guesses and will get a point if you get at least two.
Cat Power - Moon Pix
Built to Spill - Live
Wilco - AM
Beth Orton - Trailer Park
David Bowie - Low
The Pipettes - We are the Pipettes
Nick Drake - Five Leaves Left
Sonic Youth - First album Reissued
The Figurines - Skeleton
Liz Phair - Whip Smart
Scott Walker - Scott 4
The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street
The Palace Brothers - Days in the Wake
The National - Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers
Manitoba - Up in Flames
6. I have been told, at some point in my life, that I ressemble in either an aspect of appearance or personality all the following except:
a) Niel Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser, NPH
b) Kiefer Sutherland
c) Leann Rimes
d) Heath Ledger
e) Kramer
f) Ian Ziering, aka Steve from 90210
7. which of the following books am I not in the process of reading:
a) A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
b) No-limit hold'em: Theory and Practice, David Sklansky and Ed Miller
c) the curious incident of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon
d) A Long Way Down, Nick Hornby
8. On Friday I ordered the new Dell XPS with the 30" monitor. I have heard very bad things about Dell's customer service, but the order went very smoothly. The guy was helpful and we worked it all out - including a multi-day debit plan to deal with my daily maximum debit that Sovereign has set in place. Today I get a call from Dell saying they cancelled the order on the monitor because my bank rejected the request for payment. I called the bank and, of course, they tried to debit an amount over my the limit I told them. I realize I am going to have an annoying time dealing with this already. I explain the plan I had with Rodrigo to break up the payments, and I instantly didn't like him because he said, "Ok, well I don't know what conversation might have taken place, but here's what I can do." Then he explained my order was cancelled when the bank turned down payment, and since the order was placed on the 4th, the promotion had now ended, so the monitor would be an extra $200. But, what he could do was give me a 32" Dell lcd tv that could be used as a monitor for $1999, which, he said, was even better, since I would get extra "special promotions" in the form of warranties, etc. He kept asking me if I knew that a tv could be used as a monitor, and he kept asking me if i knew my previous order was "just" a monitor. He also kept throwing in stupid statements like, "sir, the tv is an lcd, which is a "liquid crystal display," so it can be both a. . blah blah blah." He probably went back to the tv option 8 times in about 10 minutes. I told him to call me back and I would look into it. I went to the website, and I find the 32" lcd tv for $1299. I didn't want it anyways, but now I was just annoyed. He calls back. "So I decided I do not want the tv. I just want everything that was in my original invoice for the quoted price." "Sir, may I ask what are your reasons for not wanting the tv?" "Sure, I have a nice Sony tv already, my computer is in another room, my apartment is small. I just want a monitor to use for my desktop, and if I want to watch tv I go into the other room." "Sir, are you aware that you can use the tv as a monitor and watch tv in addition to using it as a monitor?" "Absolutely, and I just want the monitor I ordered on Friday. Also, the tv is $1300 on your website" "The basic version, sir, without all the special promotions, starts at $1500(not true)" "What are the special promotions?" "Can you hold on a minute while I find out exactly what they are?" "No thanks, I just want the monitor." "Ok, sir. . ." We go through about ten more minutes of technicalities when he says "You realize that your monitor is not covered under the accidental damage warranty?" "Oh, I thought Rodrigo told me it would be. . . " "No, sir, that's why I was trying to explain that lcd tv is covered. . . " At this point I snapped, cut him off mid-sentence, and said which of the following things:
a) "Look, I just don't want the tv! Let's not talk about it anymore, ok?" (agitated voice)
b) DUDE! I DON'T WANT the FUCKING tv! (very agitated voice, almost a yell)
c) "Mention the tv again! Say tv again, I dare you. Say tv one more time!" (very agitated, but in a mockingSamuel L. Jackson Pulp Fiction style tone.)
d) "I. . . DON'T. . . WANT. . . THE. . . LCD. . . TV" (loud and stern voice, which implies agitated)
Part two will be released tomorrow (Friday). . . .
posted by G.P. at 7:33 PM
1 Comments:
"they should have special flights for people who dont care if they blow up"
First time i've cracked up in a while.....thank the friend of yours that said that
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