GP is told to meet The Cowboy

EXT. BEACHWOOD CANYON - NIGHT

GP, in his Honda Accord, makes his way up the canyon. As he nears the top of the canyon the residential area gives way to desert brush. The road winds steeply up to a dark dead end where an old barn and stable sit. GP parks in a little dirt lot and walk up past the barn to the corral. His eyes grow accustomed to the dark and he.looks about. No one is around. There's only a light wind and a few twinkling stars in the sky above. Suddenly some bare bulbs hanging from the corral gate flare up. GP hears a noise in the brightness and turns. There walking toward him into the light is the Cowboy - dressed in clean blue denim jeans, well-oiled unscuffed, beautifully engraved cowboy boots, a red embroidered ivory buttoned cowboy shirt complete with string tie. Atop the Cowboy's head is a 10 X white Stetson. The Cowboy is smiling warmly as he approaches. He stops in front of GP and begins to speak with a true, slow Western drawl.



COWBOY: Howdy!

GP: Howdy to you.

COWBOY: Beautiful night.

GP: Yeah.

COWBOY: Sure want to thank ya for drivin' all the way up to see me from that cozy North End apartment.

GP: No problem. What's on your mind?

COWBOY: Well now, here's a man who wants to get right to it. Kinda anxious to get to it are ya?

GP: Whatever.

COWBOY: A man's attitude ... a man's attitude goes some ways toward how a man's life will be. Is that somethin' you agree with?

GP: Sure.

COWBOY: Now... did you answer cause you thought that's what I wanted to hear or did you think about what I said and answer cause you truly believe that to be right?

GP: I agree with what you said...truly.

COWBOY: What did I say?

GP: That a man's attitude determines to a large extent how his life will be.

COWBOY: So since you agree I guess you could be a person who does not care about the good life.

GP: How's that?

COWBOY: Well, just stop for a little second and think about it. Will ya do that for me?

GP: Okay, I'm thinking.

COWBOY: No. You're too busy being a smart aleck to be thinkin'. Now I want ya to think and quit bein' such a smart aleck. Can ya do that for me?
GP: Look ... where's this going? What do you want me to do?

COWBOY There's sometimes a buggy. How many drivers does a buggy have?

GP: One.

COWBOY: So let's just say I'm drivin' this buggy and you fix your attitude and you can ride along with me.

GP: Okay.

COWBOY Now I know a few things. I know you have had a stressful past two weeks. You're probably thinkin' I don't know the half of it, but in actual fact I know every part of it. The business of you feeling stressed out lately, compromising some parts of life for others...

GP suddenly looks stunned, unsure.

COWBOY (cont'd): realizin' you worked hard for a while and then add on to that the sickenin' feeling that you aren't confident you won't chunk off more hard-earned money playing big games in another few months. It can be a vicious cycle, but some days are like that. They are rough, but what will tomorrow bring? Will it be better than today? The same ... or worse? A lot of that is up to us individually. Up to us and our attitude. You need to fix your attitude and start taking life a little slower, but you need to work harder and faster. In time, you will begin to trust your judgement again and get back in a good state of mind. For the next few months, when you log on and hit the 30/60 tab, you're going to say "This is the game." The choice of sites can stay- that is up to you, but the limit is not up to you. Now, you will see me one more time if you do good. You will see me two more times if you do bad. Good night.











The Cowboy turns around and is engulfed in darkness.

Strokin'. . .

Alex and Pierre arrived in Boston at like 6 p.m. after dropping Nikolai off at the arena. Alex is visibly still in a bad mood about his attempt to reconcile with his girlfriend Millie - who, as it turns out, is now "in love" with one Mr. Nate Miller. Nate, who took a job in NYC to be with Millie referred to the situation as "really difficult, like a real Shakespearian Tragedy." We went to the bar and had a friend-support/therapy session to try to cheer him up and help him move forward. We all talked over a few shots of Jack (which was really cheap whiskey they passed off as Jack) and some pints before the show. Pierre had been unsuccessfully trying to get him out of his down-in-the-dumps move all day. When they were in the supermarket earlier in the day, Pierre had to take a piss really bad, which caused him to get a slight boner. So, he ever-so-gently caught Alex off guard and pressed it into his thigh. This only seeemed to compound his general irritability for the remainder of the day. . . .



We caught a cab to the show and arrived about ten minutes before the Strokes were to play. Pierre tried to wing it see if he could upgrade my ticket at the last minute, but he couldn't get in touch the tour director, and the VIP security was tight, so I had to use my original ticket. I had a floor seat in teh back, but I didn't feel like standing up the whole time in the back by myself, so I just took an arena seat. The new songs sounded better live than I thought they would. Of these, "Ize of the World" was clearly the best. That was one of those songs that reverberated my chair and gave me the awe-inspired chills. They played most of the first album, with the notable exclusion of "The Modern Age." Those were the obvious fan favorites, especially "New York City Cops and the closing "Take it or Leave It", but the live experience dimmed in comparison to the show I saw in Detroit in 2001. Overall, the show was great, but the acoustics from my seat were less than ideal. I am still kind of getting used to the fact that the Strokes will never be what they once were, but they are still a very good band. They are all grown-up at like 25 now. Pierre said they were all hopping on a bus right after the show to go back to NYC. . . .

After the show we went back to the bar on my corner for a couple of pints since it was still relatively early. Alex was still down-in-the-dumps. We started talking about the Strokes New Years' Party in 2001, and Pierre started laughing saying "I freaked out and had to run out," which is only partially true. A lot of people were on drugs, and I caught a glimpse into a restroom only to see a girl with blood on her hands. I said to Alex, "I need to get out here man, someone's gonna die." Pierre said "Oh it's ok, she just cut her finger. . .you should stay, man "(heh) Even though only like ten or fifteen people were left, several were starting to seem strung out, and there were two 19 year-old Italian birds that were pounding vodka earlier that were throwing themselves at Julian while appearing only semi-conscious. Anyways, I left and everyone lived. Pierre asked if that was when we met. It was not, though. I later remembered it was at Max Fish in NYC, and I took the subway home with him and Gretchen - Pierre lectured us for 45 minutes about life while intoxicated and not one sentence made any sense whatsoever. . . so all in all, good show, good time. . Cheer up Alex. It can always be much worse - force yourself to focus on the bright side of life for a while. . .

. . .

JULES

Don't do that! Don't you fuckin'
do that! Don't blow this shit off!
What just happened was a fuckin'
miracle!

VINCENT

Chill the fuck out, Jules, this
shit happens.

JULES

Wrong, wrong, this shit doesn't
just happen.

Ok. I apologize to all my fans for the late conclusion, and, unfortunately, I have to make it brief:

After I played Justin that night, I decided to play the big game on inter. What transpired in the next 45 minutes or so was the most donkirifically frightening display of short-handed holdem the world has ever seen, not just in the big game. I got stuck 40k. I walked outside to have a cigarette. I thought about a few things: 1) I intentionally live my life in denial of many important things 2) Poker is a dumb game that play a lot, but I really can't afford to get mad at it out of spite as a result of my realization that I live my life in denial of many important things. 3) I have squandered a lot of opportunity in my life, but I can't say for certain I would be better off if I followed a different path. 4) As Max Fischer said in Rushmore: "I should probably be trying harder to score chicks. That's the only thing anybody really cares about. (sighs deeply) But it's not my forte, unfortunately." 5) What the fuck I was doing up at 3:30 a.m. when I usually get up at 7:45 a.m. to go to work, and why did I think it would be a good idea to have some Dewar's and a few beers. . . .anyways, I made a highly informed and democratic decision (by democratic I mean with the different voices in my head) to throw in the 13k I had in neteller and jump back in that game. I would have a good image going for me anyways. . . .before I do I ask Justin over aim if I can give him a call. He says he doesn't have his phone with him, which probably worked out for me. Fast forward to 7:30 a.m. I pick up from both games and look at my account: $59891.27. Jebus. . . . So, I have to stop here, but I will pick up soon. Off to the Strokes tonight with my friend Alex, who is driving up from NYC with Pierre Fraiture, who is going to turn me into a V.I.GP. tonight at the show. . . I'll write about that and other stuff soon. . . .

Bad Beat!

This is not a bitching post about a hand. . . I was supposed to see Wilco tonight. Brian left work at 3 to pick up his grandmother. On the way home, his car broke down and his grandmother fainted, so he had to call the ambulance again :(. So, no Wilco tonight and I am tired, so I am going to bed. Tomorrow the blgo will be updated through last night. . . .

The story must be postponed. . . .

It's 2:08. I am holding up, kind of in a zone. The real challenge will be when I fall asleep in the car on the way to Providence to see wilco - if and how difficult it will be for me to get up/ out of the car. I'll get on with it when I get back from that tonight I guess. . . .

on with the saga. . .

It seemed like there was only a little Dewar's left so I went to refill. The pour, however, proved that there was a healthy, deceiving amount, so I just went with it. I overpoured my glass, but I just went with it. Last week I played Schneider hu 15-30 at ub. I had no money there so he lent me $1500. He ended up winning a some, so I had to redeposit to pay him back. That is when I noticed somehow without me writing them an email that they lifted the $500 max. deposit that I used to have on my account. I paid Schneider bac and put on 5k for myself. So, I got bored writing my now-deleted blog entry, so I went to play some holdem at ub. I noticed, however, my bud Justin was sitting alone at a 50-100 hu o8 table. Now I suck at o8, and frankly Justin rules at it, but I decided maybe I would hit and run him or let him take a hand off me, so I sat and joked that I wanted to play higher. Somehow I got ahead, then JV started smashing the deck and scooping every pot. I kept telling myself to just quit after every hand, but I kept getting good starting hands and ultimately getting scooped. JV cleaned me (in reality, my bust was inevitable if we kept playing). At that moment, I realized it was very late. I felt stupid and annoyed for letting myself stay up late and finish off a large, third glass of scotch before bed. It went right to my head too since I drank it rather quickly - well, quickly enough to make it seem like a decent idea to jump into the big game at inter. . . .

Ephedrine. . . .

I took three this morning before I for work. It is working ok, but I think it's a matter of time before the deliriously tired feeling comes over me. Fortunately it is kind of a relaxed day here - me, Brian and Chris have been talking about baseball a little, which is helping me move around and stay alert. I am trying to draw a section that requires brainpower and that is not going so well. I might do some ebay shopping, but yesterday I bought Lost Highway, Mr. Deeds goes to Town with Gary Cooper, and the first five seasons of the sopranos, so I may have to really think what else I want. In any case, I should probably start the story. I came home yesterday, threw in Lock, Stock, and two smoking barrels and fell asleep through the whole thing. I woke up, went to get some dinner, and dicked around in one party 30/60 game, which was not notable except for the fact that baronzeus was on my left. For that reason, I cut the session short up a few hundred and moved to stars. I busted some guy hu playing 30 he for 3k. Then I played three 30-60 stud8s for a while and broke even about. I quit to update my blog. It was a longish entry that I lost hours later when my computer crashed. . . .

GP has a religious degenerate experience. . . .

Ok this is my most serious post to date. I am sitting here at work on no sleep, but this is not the typical "I got stuck" post. This is somewhat embarassing for me, but I think it's necessary. I am going to be updating this with increased detail as the day goes on, if for no other reason than to keep myself awake. I have to go see Wilco tonight in Providence, which I actually wish now that I didn't have to do. I would obviously rather just go home and bonk. But, I'll start here. I was having a typical night at home. I ended up having a brief chat with an old friend that I haven't talked to in months. Then I decided to have a glass of leftover Dewars from Saturday night. . . .

the post with many parts. . .

coming soon. . . . reflections on poker with regards to the hbo show Oz, how GP ruined Easter for his family, and an introduction to a hot new rising star - RoZe!

Best $1700 win ever??

I somehow crawled out of a big hole. Now, however, I must sleep for a while. . . .

Still playing and stuck even more!!!

I have a headache and want to go to sleep, but a fish just sat (well, I think he is - he was on bad tilt earlier and took a bunch of my money). . . . umm I can think about sleeping now. I am going to sleep for like 14 hours. I will probably watch like 10 minutes of Oz and then drift and wake up when it's dark out on Saturday night when it's dark (edit: my Gertrude Stein-eqsue prose here should indicate how tired I was here. . . .)

playing big and stuck!

update soon. . . .on how bad. . . . .

Ship the Sherbert to Szymaszek. . .

So Matt S. won the $75. It seems the tiebreaker quiz was a bit harder, as the three scores were 4, 3, and 1. Here the answers. . .

1. My friend George's friend went to high school with this now professional athlete who, during a high school varsity basketball game, dunked, hung on the rim, let out a big "arrrggghhh," and grabbed his package. Was it?

c) Derek Lowe. I think this one of the funniest things ever. I got and email from George's friend to clarify that he didn't actually go to his high school, but that he squared off vs. Derek on the court on the opposing team. By the way John, I threw "Perfect sound forever" in my amazon cart. A side fun fact is that my friend Brian at work told me he was playing the new x-box (I think. . ) mlb game, and "Loud Cloud Crowd" from Face the Truth is part of the soundtrack, which is bizarre on many levels. More bizarre even, "Serpentine Pad" from Wowee Zowee is also on the soundtrack. Must have been some Pavement fans that worked on the game and had some pull with the soundtrack choices. . .

2.What was my the first tape I owned?

a) Cinderalla. . . . "Nobody's Fool! Nobody's Fool! Never again, NO NO! I count the falling tears, they fall before my eyes. Seems like a thousand years. . . .SINCE WE BROKE THE TIES!!!!!" I loved that song.

3. I call my friend Brian's couch "The Red Bitch" because it is big and has shiny Red Leather. Yesterday Brian was talking about putting a hammock in his porch, when I said "Why do you need a hammock? you have the the Red Bitch!" As I was saying "Red Bitch," what strolled right past me?

a) A short woman with bright red hair. I suppose this was a toss-up. . .

4. Who am I not seeing in concert in the next three months?

b) Tom Petty. Mike Ma wrote "I bet you think their new album (the strokes) sucks and put this question on as a way to bash them as sellouts, but it is actually good." Well, I think it is no where near the first two, but I do like it. Brian at work said it best, though: "I just can't picture you at a Tom Petty concert. That question should be easy. . . "

5. Which baseball game did I not see at Yankee Stadium?

c.) Pedro's 17 k one-hitter.

6. How am I doing right now in the 15-30 pvt table 2+2 game on party?

c.) stuck $972. I was fortunate to make a comeback over the next hour and half, however, and left up around $150. . .

7. For some dumb reason, I decided I wasn't into rock music anymore when I was like 19, so I sold about 20 cd's (with some good Jane's Addiction and Pixies' bootlegs) to the used record store in Harvard Square and got $120. What did I spend this money on?

b) meatball subs. Mike picked c. and said, "Your 'love/hate, I should do this, but won't' personality is perfect for this answer." While this is true, it turns out I got mono right after and couldn't do any shopping, but I would drift a few times a week to Stealla's and buy meatball subs. . .

8. The hand I have lost the most with in my last 120k hands of 30-60 on average per times played?

c)95s. Again, they are good candidates, and, as such, they are all near the top of list of my individual hands I lose money with.

9. After I left a cardroom in NYC, I was walking down 5th Avenue at like 11, when I sensed a presence behind me. I turned around only to find an ugly man/woman about to go for my wallet. So disturbingly gross was this person (reminded me the symbolic death figure behind Winkies in Mulholland Drive behind Winkie's), that I let out a primal scream in her face to freeze it while I side-stepped to get away from the wall, and she moved around me in with her arms out like a wrestler. What was she constanly saying as she was doing this, in an extremely manly voice?

a) "meow."

10. Chris at work one day decided to break my balls and get on my internet browser, go to google, and type something, using the space bar, so it always shows up first on auto-complete when I put the cursor in the textbox. What did he type?

b) I think this answer was good because it was tame enough to use in the workplace, but would be as humorous to see than the other two. . .

Tie breaker question, and GP has a nightmare!

Ok here are the tiebreaker questions for Mike, Mike, and Matt.

1. My friend George's friend went to high school with this now professional athlete who, during a high school varsity basketball game, dunked, hung on the rim, let out a big "arrrggghhh," and grabbed his package. Was it?

a) Shawn Kemp
b) Jayson Williams
c) Derek Lowe

2. What was my the first tape I owned?

a) Cinderalla's "Night songs"
b) Whitesnake's "Whitesnake"
c) Def Leppard's "Pyromania"

3. I call my friend Brian's couch "The Red Bitch" because it is big and has shiny Red Leather. Yesterday Brian was talking about putting a hammock in his porch, when I said "Why do you need a hammock? you have the the Red Bitch!" As I was saying "Red Bitch," what strolled right past me?

a) A short woman with bright red hair
b) A golden retriever with orangish hair
c) A mean-looking, poorly dressed weightlifter-type dude with a red, curly fro. . .

4. Who am I not seeing in concert in the next three months?

a) Wilco
b) Tom Petty
c) The Strokes

5. Which baseball game did I not see at Yankee Stadium?

a) Dwight Gooden's no-hitter
b) the first game of baseball played after the strike in '94
c) Pedro's 17 k one-hitter

6. How am I doing right now in the 15-30 pvt table 2+2 game on party?

a) about even
b) up $672
c) stuck $972

7. For some dumb reason, I decided I wasn't into rock music anymore when I was like 19, so I sold about 20 cd's (with some good Jane's Addiction and Pixies' bootlegs) to the used record store in Harvard Square and got $120. What did I spend this money on?

a) tubes of paint
b) meatball subs
c) new cd's after I realized I still liked rock

8. The hand I have lost the most with in my last 120k hands of 30-60 on average per times played?

a) QTo
b) J8s
c) 95s

9. After I left a cardroom in NYC, I was walking down 5th Avenue at like 11, when I sensed a presence behind me. I turned around only to find an ugly man/woman about to go for my wallet. So disturbingly gross was this person (reminded me the symbolic death figure behind Winkies in Mulholland Drive behind Winkie's), that I let out a primal scream in her face to freeze it while I side-stepped to get away from the wall, and she moved around me in with her arms out like a wrestler. What was she constanly saying as she was doing this, in an extremely manly voice?

a) "meow."
b) "You're mine, bitch!"
c) "You know you want to fuck me you little bitch!"

10. Chris at work one day decided to break my balls and get on my internet browser, go to google, and type something, using the space bar, so it always shows up first on auto-complete when I put the cursor in the textbox. What did he type?

a) mature sluts
b) fetishes
c) advanced jack-off techniques

Submit at your convenience. . .

As for my nightmare last night, it was very stressful. I think I have a handle on its implications in terms of symbolism with regards to my amateur psychoanalytical skills. It was one of those apocylpytic dreams (I have a lot of these.) where I am kind of moving from place to place trying to find a spot to hide for a while and plan where to go hide next. I usually only move when I feel someone is coming after me. So, after what seemed like running forever, I met up with this woman who started hiding with me. After we had run to a few spots, we had a moment. she asked me if she could kiss me, and I said ok. Right then, two guys grabbed me, and pulled my arms behind my back, and pushed my face into the ground. I saw the legs of another guy walking towards. I slowly peered up. He said in this psychotic, angry voice, "How many chances do you think you're gonna get you dumb motherfucker!!? I tried to help you I was there and you ignored me??!!" Then he lifted his leg back and I knew he was gonna kick me in the head as hard as he could. Then I woke up and started my day. . . . If someone reminds me in like two months to explain what I think this means, and if I ultimately learned anything from it, I will gladly reveal my thoughts. . . .

Trivia answers. . .

Matt Szymaszek came through with a David Ortizesque performance at around 10 a.m. this morning to tie Mike Ma and Canadian Mike with a score of 12/20. In any case, here are the answers. In a few responses, some people actually gave their reasoning for picking what they did, so I may reference others' responses. . . .

1. I had a tape in my car that I listened to regularly for three months, even though I never told anyone I was even a fan of this artist, which album was it?

Theresa wrote. . . ."b)Alanis Morisette - Jagged Little Pill (This one, because it IS driving music, it's singing music AND my middle name is Mary Jane . . . ." This was the correct answer. I literally almost go into convulsions of annoyance when I hear Shania Twain, and while I actually think Jewel is decent, it's not driving music. Example:

She's a pretty girl, does she make you think nasty thoughts?
She's a pretty girl, do you want to tie her down?
She's a pretty girl, do you call her a bitch?
She's a pretty girl, did she sleep with your whole town?
Pretty girl, pretty girl, do you hate her'Cause she's pieces of you?

Yeah, I'm not listening to that in the car. . . . next Q

2. I went to elementary school with Susan, and recently I got back in touch with her again. She said she is a big Red Sox fan. I asked her if her favorite baseball player was Johnny Damon like all the other girls. She said she never really took a liking to him. Who is her favorite player?

c) Jason Varitek. If Susan does not like Damon because she never took a liking to him, it demonsrates a counter-cultural female perspective that one's favorite player should be independant of looks. Therefore, Susan has knowledge of baseball, which should eliminate Kapler. For the skeptics, I have met at least three women who have said there favorite player is Kapler, while probably 0 men in the entire state of Mass. would pick him as their favorite. Manny is obviously great but he lives in a "see-you-later world." Varitek is a solid player and consummate professional.

3. I got made fun of for like a half hour from my coworkers for saying I thought she was one of the top five hottest women. Is it??

b) Rose McGowan. The decoy answers were a and c. George picked a. and said "alternative waif girls are your wheelhouse." I think that means something along the lines of "My tastes overvalue alternative waif girls." In any case, I am growing away from that trend, but also I have been pushing the new Fiona album to people, since it is very, very good (kelly clarkson grammy? HUH?) Also, everyone knows I am/have been a fan of the wonder years, so the second most popular answer was Winnie Cooper. As Theresa noted, "however, Winnie Cooper was girl-next-door high school hot. I think that the male taste for hot has evolved from 70's frock-wearing babes to the more scantily clad Maxim-type ladies." There was a time and a place for Winnie in my life, and that was when I was like 14 or 15, comparing her to scuppahs with big, poofy hair in middle school. I like Rose because. . . I have no idea. Maybe because I find her incredibly attractive and she would probably turn down a Maxim spread out of priniciple, and she was with Marilyn Manson even though he's a dork. . . .

4. The legendary Chuck Klosterman said this band produced the best minute and a half of 80's rock. . .

a) Guns and Roses. I'll just quote the paragraph:

"Bono was able to morph himself into whatever his fans needed him to be: He could be angry, brooding, vulnerable, or romantic-and sometimes at the same moment. Rose is the same kind of shape shifter, but for a different, less stable audience. His style is even more schizophrenic. He swings from being openly violent and mysogynistic (like on "it's so easy") to acting hopeless (such as the brilliant closing two and a half minutes of "Rocket Queen," my vote for the finest 171 seconds of 80's rock). In the video "Don't Cry," emotional juxtaposition is pretty much all Axle does. But unlike Bono, Guns and Roses never played "college rock." It was never specifically directed at smart people. GNR wrote for a younger audience-the kind of people who still slammed bedroom doors and huffed gas in the garage."

Btw "Fargo Rock City" is a great book. His muscial insight is endless. On the GNR tip, he later compares Axle to Allen Iverson, as well as an incredible comparison of the last four songs of "GNR Lies" to the new testament, no joke. . .

5. I vacationed to Prague with my friend George while we were both doing our spring semester in Paris during our junior year in college. He wanted to go there to visit a girl he met in Paris named Pam. He was staying at her place one night when her Russian ex-boyfriend angrily came to visit her. Although she wanted to resist answering the door at first, he hears her voice and wouldn't give in, so she had to answer the door. How long did George end up spending uncomfortably wedged between her bed and wall?

The answer was 3 hours. This question was about George, and he knew the answer and wrote "Three hours ( scariest wake-up ever)" He got an 8/20 btw. Maybe I downplayed the threat of violence, but her bf was an angry ex-bf, and since Pam spoke like 5 languages (Chech, Russian, Spanish, French, and English), he heard arguing in foreign languages. Anyways, he managed to fall asleep at some point. He showed up at like 3 a.m. and after a while he fell asleep and left at 6. . . .

6. The first time I played Texas holdem in a casino, I played 3$/6$, limped utg with which sooooted hand, eventually calling a raise, only to flop top and bottom pair and check-call a bet on every street on my way to victory, only to crack KK?

a) Jc4c. Matt S. actually believed this hand didn't happen, since he couldn't believe I would ever do something like this ever, even the first time I played. But, I saw suited cards with a paint. Limp it up! This one was a gamble, only c. could be eliminated if one looked at probablility. Since I cracked KK, Kd4d would have had to make a flush or quad 4s. If anyone guessed that, it's ok bc the legendary Steven Guifre did as well. . .

7. At what age did I drink my first full beer?

Trick question. Like 3/25 got it right. It was 18. Perhaps now that I am not as much of a square, a lot of people got thrown off. George, who also knew this question yet still only got 8/20, said "> 7. c. (and you’ve been making up for lost time ever since).

8. The worst thing a girl ever said to me, at the time, was. . . .

Only like 3 people got this one too. It was "b. You're just like you're father. . . " Everyone else pretty much said c. I am not sure if it's because that is the worst of the three options or if everyone really thinks I am emotionally devoid. In any case, c. was said to me, but it didn't bother me because I knew it was ending, and I was being standoff-ish, so it didn't bother me whatsoever. . . .

9.Which dvd do I not own?

c) Little Nicky. Yeah, this was tough. the other two I got at Blockbuster in a buy 3 for $25, where I saw 2 I wanted and just picked a random one. Usually all the movies suck besides the ones you want. In any case, Undercover Brother is kind of funny at times, really. . . .Ali is prob one of the worst movies ever, though. . .

10. How long has the celery in the picture below been in my refigerator?

c) 3 months. Susan said, "I hope I am wrong about number 10." But, she wasn't. . . . George said, "> 10. c. (easiest qeustion in the quiz)"

11.11. I work with a guy named Brian. His four favorite bands at the moment are probably Guns and Roses, CCR, Wilco, and Pavement. When we were watching the Red Sox game tonight after work, which song came on that made him break out and sing like he was singing it live for an audience?

The answer was c. If I broke out in song, it could have been any of the three. I wished I had a picture of him for this q, but given his musical tastes, I think c. should have been the logical answer, and it was the most popular. Others were tricked by my trickery answers. . . .:P. . .

12. Where did I run my first rack of nine ball?

c) Paris. Right outside of the La Motte-Piquette stop. That flowed. . ."The La. . "

13. What tv show did I tell my sister I loved and she simply would not believe I was not messing with her? Like, I kept telling her I thought it was funny and she would have none of it. . ..

It was a. Just shoot me. We were having a conversation and she said "omg David Spade is so annoying!" I told her I thought Just Shoot me was a good show, which I think it is. Honestly, we went back and forth for 10 minutes and she thought I was fuckin' with her. . .

14. There was an annoying girl on the Bates Campus when I was there. My nickname for her was. . .

75% said Billygirl. It was b. Big Girl Bad Girl. Theresa wrote "a) Big Red - too shortb) Big Girl Bad Girl - too longc) The Billygirl - just right!" Geroge said. . "14. b. Big Girl Bad Girl (if that’s not right, can I borrow it?)" I think I came up with Big Girl Bad Girl because she tried so hard to fit in with the guys. she was playing wiffle ball with the people in my dorm freshamn year and she sucked real bad, like (apply Francis Begby accent from Trainspotting) "could't hit a ball if she triiieedd." She had tons of team spirit and wouldn't quit, even though she couldn't come within a foot of a wiffle ball floater. Even though it sounds like I am making fun of her for her athletic skills, she was just annoying in all aspects of life. . . next

15. I played some 3-cushion billiards for like 8 months. My high run was:

a) six. I'm not that good, or 3-cushion is really hard, which Canadian Mike may attest to. Even in my run of six I dumped two of the shots (I got lucky and made the shot by virtue of a "kiss" or accidental hit off the third ball. I did, however, make one expert shot for shot number five.

16. When I was like 10, I got fed up with my parents strict rules. I packed up a few shirts and pants - and no extra underwear obviously - as well as 17 dollars in change. How far did i get away from my house before I returned home?

b. 2 miles. Then I walking and my best friends' mother drove by and asked if I wanted to go back with her to hang out with Aaron - my best friend. I said yes and then my mother picked me up later in the day. She had no idea I ran away and I played it off like I didn't, because I genuinely didn't care anymore. Duke was upset by this and said, "Man, I had confidence you would get eleven miles." Maybe I would have. . .

18. My best friend Andy, when we were like 13, prerecorded a cinemax softcore porn before he went to bed one night. The next day, I asked to borrow it. He said "I'll let you borrow it, but it will cost you. . . " How much did I pay to view the movie?

a). $7. Thersa wrote "b) $10 - kids only think in round numbers." That's true, but kids also engage in extremely petty bargaining processes. . .

19. My favorite Neutral Milk Hotel song right now is. . .

a) Matt said "No way you use that many words on an incorrect answer." Good instincts, Matt. Theresa responded: b) Holland, 1945 -". . . this one for the beeat," noting it was the only one not about her burial. And, it is true, Holland 1945 is prob the best song, followed by "oh Comely," But a. is the answer :). . .

20.My favorite comedian is. . .

b. Steven Wright. Yah I like both the others, but, in perspective, I like his 80s humor about microwave ovens and rotary phones. . .

I am going to follow soon with like an 8-12 q tiebreaker for the 3 champs. . .

Weekend Update. . .

After work on Friday I went to the bar with Chris and Brian for a few drinks to catch the beginning of the Sox game. It didn't take long for jocks in suits to file in. They had some promotion where they were giving away Sox and Bruins tickets, skis, etc. Perhaps they underestimated the breadth of Red Sox knowledge because every time the petite woman read a question, like twenty jocks yelled out the correct answer at the same time, which was, on average, about 3/4 of the way through the question. she kept looking at her boss with a quizical look. They couldn't figure out what to do. The Sox got a big lead early, and then I left. . .

I came home early and got uncomfortably content - I say uncomfortably because I was really feeling like playing some cards and settling in instead of being social and doing something. Matt said he was going out somewhere in town with some of his friends, but I settled into a nice, bad high-limit game. For those that don't know me very well, I have a tendency to occasionally break usual grind-it-out discipline and go against my better judgement. This usually happens when I have been running good in whatever I am playing, and I decide to gamble a little and place myself in tough spots that will challenge me. Well, I usually find a way to justify it, even if there really is no good reason. Anyways, I started at around 8 p.m. and after a few hours I was up a bit. One player was overplaying some hands vs me in the right spots. This always helps :). Just as quickly, though, I made a bunch of second best hands and I was back to even.
I hadn't eaten any dinner, so I went to the seven-eleven around the corner to get some chips and a small can of cashews. I strolled back, cracked open the can of cashews, pulled an MGD bottle out of the refrigerator and took another seat. Picked up my ipod headphones, and played the itunes from the beginning of The Books c.d. This c.d. will be in my permanent collection of good music to listen to when playing poker - mellow, minimal words, lots of samples in foreign languages, etc. I usually play several tables of $30-$60 but in this game I just play one. I crack the door of my apt. wide open because it was warm out, and that way I don't have to sit out to have the occasional cigarette. I open my kitchen window so the ventilation is great.
Two hours later I am stuck about a Kia (my friends and I usually refer to the swings in bigger games in units of small compact cars. If I were stuck twice as much, I then could say two Kias, or maybe upgrade to one off-lease Honda or a BMW with 125k miles on it, etc) I got severely owned in a few hands, but most of my losing plays were marginal decisions. At one point, I took a bad beat and followed it up with a real marginal calling of two cold from the bb to a button raise and sb 3 bet and losing when I should have just opted to fold preflop. At that point I had to throw in the best poker de-stress song of all time - "Suicide is Painless" aka The M.A.S.H. theme song. . . )
About four hours, 10 cigarettes, and three MGD's later, I managed to claw my way back and scrape out a Kia. I wanted to go to bed, but I needed to eat something again. I strolled into the Seven-Eleven again at like 4:30 a.m. As soon as I walked in the guy behind the counter - a 20-something African American - kind of grinned. When I brought another bag of chips to the counter he laughed out loud and said, "Oh man, I'm guessing you had a reeeeeeeeaaaallll good night. . . " I just kind of grinned and said, "It was ok. I got unstuck, so that's good." He had no idea what I was talking about, so he just gave me an awkward and stilted smirk and my change. I think he finally realized I wasn't stoned, anyways. . .

Saturday, I didn't play at all and went to the Beth Orton concert in the evening. It was ok. I enjoyed it, but it could have been a lot better. Since I am so oversaturated with new music now I haven't had a chance to listen to her new cd that much yet, and she played mostly new songs. I took a pic on my camera phone, but it looks like an image of a newly discovered planet. My Sunday was worthless, yet relaxing, for the most part. . .

Tomorrow night I will post answers to the quiz. 12 is still the high score. Any quizzes that I get before I put up the answers I will take. Also, Scneider noted that even though he didn't win the quiz, he still got the $75 from me, just in a more roundabout kind of way. . . .

Trivia Update/GP needs a scanner. . .

"easiest $75 dollars I'll ever win.. " -George 8/20
"I am in your head!" - Schneider 9/20
"I think I did well. . ." -Justin 9/20


Ok, the range so far has been 4/20 to 12/20, and the high score is shared by Canadian Mike and Mike Ma.

Official Quizmaster and George L. in Prague, 1996. George's confidence is evident in this picture, as he was not afriad to stand close to the guard like I had been. Is it possible that when he took the quiz, his overconfidence was his weakness?

Lee recommended 8 cd's to me, so I got them, and I must say my immediate favorite is The books: The Lemons of Pink. . . something very, very good is going on here. I am probably going to listen to it all day tomorrow.

Trivia competition - $75 for first place. . .

Ok, this will be an unbiased trivia contest. While some questions will obviously be about a particular person who will know the answer, others will attempt to confuse one's senses with regards to their perceptions of the true GP. In other words, most of the people that know me won't be able to answer the questions any better than those that don't. Anyways, I will try to create as many questions as I feel like right now - multiple choice, and the winner will get $75. I can send the $ to party, stars, neteller, or paypal. If you know me personally, I can hand you the money. Or, if I don't know you, I suppose I can send a check if you don't have any of the previous accnts. All responses can be sent to gandrewp@gmail.com, and please give your full name and address if you think I might not be familiar with your email address. You will receive no bubble blog spam, as this is obviously a hack blog anyways. . . . onto the Q's. . . Contest will end in one week, next monday at 6 p.m.

1. I had a tape in my car that I listened to regularly for three months, even though I never told anyone I was even a fan of this artist, which album was it?

a)Jewel - Pieces of you
b)Alanis Morisette - Jagged Little Pill
c)Shania Twain - Come on Over

2. I went to elementary school with Susan, and recently I got back in touch with her again. She said she is a big Red Sox fan. I asked her if her favorite baseball player was Johnny Damon like all the other girls. She said she never really took a liking to him. Who is her favorite player?

a)Manny Ramirez
b)Gabe Kapler
c)Jason Varitek

3. I got made fun of for like a half hour from my coworkers for saying I thought she was one of the top five hottest women. Is it??

a)Fiona Apple
b)Rose Mcgowan
c)Danica McKellar

4. The legendary Chuck Klosterman said this band produced the best minute and a half of 80's rock. . .

a)Guns and Roses
b)Faith No More
c)Metallica

5. I vacationed to Prague with my friend George while we were both doing our spring semester in Paris during our junior year in college. He wanted to go there to visit a girl he met in Paris named Pam. He was staying at her place one night when her Russian ex-boyfriend angrily came to visit her. Although she wanted to resist answering the door at first, he hears her voice and wouldn't give in, so she had to answer the door. How long did George end up spending uncomfortably wedged between her bed and wall?

a) 3 hours
b) 8 hours
c) 17 hours

6. The first time I played Texas holdem in a casino, I played 3$/6$, limped utg with which sooooted hand, eventually calling a raise, only to flop top and bottom pair and check-call a bet on every street on my way to victory, only to crack KK?

a)Jc4c
b)9s6s
c)Kd4d

7. At what age did I drink my first full beer?

a) 13
b) 15
c) 18

8. The worst thing a girl ever said to me, at the time, was. . . .

a) Yeah. . . . well FUCK YOU!
b) You're just like you're father. . .
c) God. You can be so emotionally devoid sometimes. . .

9. Which dvd do I not own?

a) Ali with Will Smith
b) Undercover Brother with Eddie Griffin
c) Little Nicky with Adam Sandler

10. How long has the celery in the picture below been in my refigerator?



a) 1 month
b) 2 months
c) 3 months

11. I work with a guy named Brian. His four favorite bands at the moment are probably Guns and Roses, CCR, Wilco, and Pavement. When we were watching the Red Sox game tonight after work, which song came on that made him break out and sing like he was singing it live for an audience?

a) Natasha Bedingfield "Unwritten"
b) Natalie Imbruglia "Torn"
c) Duran Duran "Come Undone"

12. Where did I run my first rack of nine ball?

a) World Class Billiards in West Peabody, MA
b) Boston Billiards
c) Paris. France

13. What tv show did I tell my sister I loved and she simply would not believe I was not messing with her? Like, I kept telling her I thought it was funny and she would have none of it. . ..

a) Just Shoot Me
b) King of Queens
c) Everybody loves Raymond

14. There was an annoying girl on the Bates Campus when I was there. My nickname for her was. . .

a) Big Red
b) Big Girl Bad Girl
c) The Billygirl

15. I played some 3-cushion billiards for like 8 months. My high run was. . .

a)6
b)7
c)8

16. When I was like 10, I got fed up with my parents strict rules. I packed up a few shirts and pants - and no extra underwear obviously - as well as 17 dollars in change. How far did i get away from my house before I returned home?

a)1/2 mile
b) 2 miles
c) 11 miles

17. My favorite low-brow beer is:

a)pbr
b)mgd
c)schlitz

18. My best friend Andy, when we were like 13, prerecorded a cinemax softcore porn before he went to bed one night. The next day, I asked to borrow it. He said "I'll let you borrow it, but it will cost you. . . " How much did I pay to view the movie?

a) $7
b) $10
c) $30

19. My favorite Neutral Milk Hotel song right now is. . .

a) the aucoustic solo version of "Engine" from Jittery Joe's
b) Holland, 1945
c) oh comely

20. My favorite comedian is. . .

a) Chris Rock
b) Steven Wright
c) Mitch Hedberg

OK I played in a tough online game tonight with Mike Schneider, winner of the party poker million. A few interesting hands ensued. I will try to talk about them in the next update. . . .

Pictures of money. . .

I just looked Matt's blog and found a picture of a bunch of money laying around. Shane has a picture of himself sitting on the floor naked holding a ton of money in his blog. I am going to add to this trend. Since I don't have a ton of money at hand, and I don't feel like getting naked and sitting on the floor, I am going to approach this from a slightly different angle. the picture below is a pile of one dollar bills. There is nothing bigger than a one dollar bill in there. I started my collection like two years ago. It was almost twice as big, but I started unloading it on the chinese food delivery guy.

"Did you even do anything today?"

That's what Glenn asked when I said I was updating my blog again. The answer is yes and no. I left my apartment for like an hour and half. Ok, that is not true. I went to pick up my grilled chicken salad for lunch, but I only had to walk a half a block so that probably doesn't count. . . then I went to play some pool, and on the way I pondered my mortality, in depth. Then I returned to my apt, watched a few Entourage episodes, which is kind of medicore I think. Then I had a Diet Rock Star and played some poker. I played a terrible hand vs Lee, so he made fun of me. Then he recommended some cds for me to buy:

"Let's Get Ready to Crumble" - The Russian Futurists
"Nine Times That Same Song" - Love is All
"Fox Confessor Brings The Flood" - Neko Case .

I bought all three of them.

I watched the last two Office episodes in season one, and the basketball episode was goooooood. I don't think I stopped laughing for the whole time they played the game. So far the American Office has exceeded my expectations, which were set impossibly high after watching the bbc office. Then Paluka messaged me:

cpikula: u played 150/300 on interpoker ysterday?
GP: maybe
cpikula: lol
cpikula: you are a tard
GP: who told you?
cpikula: it is in your blog fuckface

Doh. April is off to a good start, though. 7.05bbs/100 in the 30 today. I will update more nothing tomorrow. . . .

GP's Big Adventure. . . .

It's 2:51 now a.m. now. Don't mind the time on the blog. That's California time. Anyways, I said I might have something to report and I do. As soon as I left work I felt the spring in the air. I love the North End. Even though my rent is way too big, I am not going to want to leave in October when my lease is up. I walked to the liquor store on the way home to get some whiskey and diet coke. As I was walking up the street, I heard some 60-something round woman say to another 60-something round woman who was sitting outside her apartment, "Wow. I know it's spring when you're sitting outside. You're like my baromaDAH!" Nice.
I came home, casually playing for a bit until my ex-roommate Gabe called to tell me he was heading to a bar in the basement of the Jury Hotel in downtown Boston. I would have photos, but I asked my friend Susan if I should bring my camera. It feels so old now being like 2" thick. I realized I would only take like 3 pictures, so I decided I wouldn't take it. I took a cab to the hotel. Some Asian girl who was cute but turned out to be annoying walked by with her friends and said "Let's go here!" She struck up a conversation with me. She said she was with her friends from "The League of Women." They were recruiting tonight, so they were coming from a hotel where they had a reception, etc. They volunteer, etc. (I had a flashback to earlier in the evening when my friend Deva was telling someone that volunteering was a great way to meet women.) Well, I didn't care to talk to these women, and they kept joking, "Hey, you're still here!" Even though it was obvious I was in line with them and couldn't go anywhere. The Asian girl, Tina, made a joke that I reminded her of the guy from Troy, and started telling me she studied the classics in college. I was about to get into the bar when the bouncer said, "How many?" she said "7! Achilles, you have to be part of our group. Is that ok?" Bah. Anyways, as soon as they let me in, I drifted to find Gabe. . .
So the bar was fun. I drank a lot. I talked to some boring people and some intersting people. I ended up talking to this woman who I found out was German, so I didn't waste any time telling her about my German vacation coming up this summer. She told me what cities were cool and what cities weren't, etc. I told her the motto for my trip was going to be "Unverhooff kompt oft." I spelled that very wrong I bet. She said "I expect the unexpected?" Well, I learned from my friend Tania that it means "Expect the unexpected," and it was the punchline in her favorite series of children's books. Anyways, that's going to be the motto of our trip. Since I had a bunch of whiskey at my place, I just drank a few beers. Gabe's friend Lucas bought a round of shots later and that, combined with an I.P.A. right after, kind of made me feel real drunk. I went outside to have a cigarette with Gabe. Some woman asked me for a light. We started talking. Gabe did some drunken promoting of me, which I appreciated, then decided to go back inside, which demonstrated rock solid instincts on his part. After a few minutes of conversation I realized I was very, very drunk. She sensed this. "Are you drunk?" She asked. "Kind of." I said. After like 5 minutes she offered her number to me. I looked at my phone and pushed a button or two, but it was obvious I wasn't capable of the simple task. She said "Umm, should I do it?" I said "No, I have it. . . " Clearly, I didn't have it. She grabbed my phone and put it in for me. Her name was Kim. She told me to call her. I said I would. Gabe came outside and said he was leaving. I left with him. I took a cab. I got home and thought to myself, "I wonder if Kim actually put her number in my phone? and was that even her name?" So I found a Kim in my contacts. I proceeded to drink some water and chill for a bit. Then I played 150-3 at inter and won some money. . . . I do wish I brought my camera though. I will try not to make that mistake again.